Keep the good times rolling

As my holiday vacation from school draws to a close, I find myself slightly sad about it. Usually I'm antsy and ready to go back to school. This time is different. I've been enjoying my free time and am not quite ready to let it go. I feel like I've really found some semblance of peace lately. I anticipate my return to academia ruining that peace.

Today is a perfect example. I woke up around 10:30 and read a book for a while. I didn't feel rushed or hurried. I had no place to be. I threw in a load of laundry and ran into my roommate. Adrian has been out of town with his family for almost a week and it's been great to have him back. We decided a few days ago that we were going to spend today together. He cooked lunch while I took a shower and then we sat down and caught up. Again, no hurry, no need for anxiety. It was a simple, laid back meal together. Adrian wanted to go to Sioux Falls and do some shopping so we loaded up the car and took a 45 minute jaunt to the biggest city in South Dakota. At a whopping population of 153,888 people, Sioux Falls is the closest thing we have to a big city. People from actual large cities in neighboring states are less than impressed but...we do what we can.

After we got there we shopped around spent some money and had yummy dinner. We took one last wander around the mall before we headed home at about 6:30. Adrian is a nerd and bought the Mortal Kombat sound track. We listened to it until I told him it was turning me on and then magically it stopped. I have these subtle ways of getting what I want....be jealous. We got home, I made a smoothie, he made hummus (blegh!), and we watched Jeopardy and Desperate Housewives for a few hours while playing a board game. I cleaned up the kitchen, took out the trash, and read my book some more. I had to stop in the middle of my book to think of the stress free day that I had just had. Thinking on it, it's actually quite bizarre for me. I laughed more than I can ever remember and I had a genuinely great time. Most people would be grateful. I find myself suppressing suspicion. When things go well for a little while, I always wait for the bad. I'm very much hoping the bad is a long ways off and that I can keep this good feeling for a while, but I'm always prepared for a storm of awful. It's pessimistic. I hate thinking of myself a pessimist but...I know the truth.

Despite my niggling worries about the days to come, I'm going to try to keep the happiness I've been feeling going. My return to school, work, and rehearsal will most certainly throw up some obstacles on my road to consistent happiness, but that's the nature of the beast. I'm going to try not to let those obstacles destroy this new momentum I have going. Only time will tell, but I have a good feeling everything will be okay.