My recital was on Saturday and it went fairly well. It was very well attended and it felt so good to get it over with. A lot of my family was there and even more of my friends. There are a million things I wish I could have done better, but I feel like it will always be that way. The gowns looked spectacular and I felt like a princess. Mom and I went shopping on Friday to find the perfect jewelry to go with. We found something perfect at Icing. I don't usually go in there but the necklace gave my navy gown exactly what it needed. Everyone commented about the champagne gown though. It was very gorgeous and I couldn't be happier with how the two designs turned out. I haven't listened to the recording yet and I'm a little scared. After I listened to the recording of my junior recital, I was so unhappy. I definitely think this one went better but it is hard to not be super critical of everything I sing.
The day after my senior recital, Dr. Gesteland's studio put on our showcase. It went really well. I sang "Perfect Relationship", "My Funny Valentine", and then kicked off the finally piece that we all sang together. It was a lot of fun. The one sad moment was when I stepped on my champagne gown and ripped a small hole in it with my heel. It isn't really noticeable but I was heartbroken when it happened. Dr. Gesteland couldn't stay for the performance but she videotaped it and I hope that she is happy with what we did.
Sunday night after the showcase I was writing a paper and started feeling these horrible pains in my chest. They were accompanied by an awful headache. The pains would hurt really bad for a little bit and then subside for a while. All the while, I would feel this horrible pressure. I tried to sleep it off but the next day it hadn't gone away. I finally buckled down and went to the clinic at about 4pm on Monday.
The clinic didn't have the equipment to help me so they sent me over to the emergency room. They hooked me up to machines and took x-rays of my chest and gave me shots and took blood. It was really intense. A few hours after we got there, the doctor came back and said he thought I had a Pleurisy. This is an inflammation in the lining of my lungs. It causes sharp chest pains, shortness of breath, and coughing. He said I was showing no signs of any other heart conditions and that rest and ibuprofen should clear things right up. Today, things aren't much better. I have been taking the ibuprofen and laying in bed. I'm frustrated because I have so many things to do. I also didn't go to work yesterday so I'm going to get in trouble for that. There's pretty much no fun all around. I have a follow up appointment at the clinic tomorrow at 10am and hopefully by then I'll feel better. If not, I have to go through more testing. I also have a dentist appointment tomorrow to figure out what's wrong with my jaw. I'm hoping that is something simple as well. I'm falling apart and the most inconvenient time of year. I just need to pull myself together and power through the next couple of weeks of school. Then I'll have all kinds of time to be laid up and sick. Come on body! Work with me!
TACKY TUESDAY!!!
The tackiest thing I can think of is codependency. I know way too many girls who make their boyfriends their entire world and change their whole lives around because of them. That has never been my style and I don't really understand why a self-respecting woman would want to do that to herself. We live in a time where women can pursue careers and get for themselves everything that a man could provide. I don't consider myself a hard-core feminist. I enjoy men as much as the next person. I think they can be supportive and sensitive and smart and witty and so much fun to be with. But at the end of the day, I don't feel the need to completely uproot the things that I want and need for them.
I also don't feel the need to rotate my emotions around the things they feel from day to day. If the boy is in a bad mood, that doesn't mean that the girl should be in a bad mood. If the boy doesn't want to go out, that doesn't mean the girl shouldn't go out. If the boy doesn't like something or somebody, the girl doesn't have to dislike that thing or person as well. I see way too many girls that completely lose their own personality while in a relationship. I even know a few who think that they've maintained their independence when they can't go one conversation without talking about their boyfriend. I'm happy that they're happy, I just wish they knew how pathetic they sounded when they only have one topic to discuss. It is a broken record of sadness and people who still control more than half of their brain can't stand listening to it all the time. It just takes me back to high school again. I didn't hate my high school experience, but I'd never go back there. I find myself pushing my codependent friends out of my life and making room for my legitimately mature adult friends who don't have to wait for their boyfriend/girlfriend to be busy in order to spend time with me. I find it so much more enjoyable.
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